


Bad Kiss Goodnight

by strawberrykait



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, HP: EWE, Humor, Post - Deathly Hallows, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-20
Updated: 2012-09-20
Packaged: 2017-11-14 16:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrykait/pseuds/strawberrykait
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>According to a recent study, 59% of men and 66% of women have ended a budding relationship because of a bad first kiss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Kiss Goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta Readers:** McCargi
> 
> Inspired by Xfsista’s prompt #61 from the Hawthorn & Vine Treasured Tropes Challenge 2012. And, as always, very special thanks to McCargi for her phenomenal beta’ing and friendship! Thank you!

It was not nearly as difficult to get Hermione Granger to agree to a date with Draco Malfoy as he expected. In fact, the words were hardly out of his mouth before she eagerly consented. However, he had been nervous; especially since this would be the first date he had had since his divorce from Astoria Greengrass. 

Their paths didn’t cross that often, though, despite both having worked at the Ministry of Magic since shortly after the Second Wizarding War, more than ten years ago. He had found the idle life of his father led to distraction, as well as social and political disaster, so at the urging of his then wife, Draco secured a quite comfortable position within the Department of International Magical Cooperation. 

Hermione Granger was an Unspeakable, squirreled away on the ninth level, and she was seldom seen coming or going. Nevertheless, he’d thought about her, quite a bit actually, even before his marriage turned sour. Just days ago, Fate was on his side and she practically bowled him over in the atrium. After a moment of collecting themselves, the words simply burst from his mouth without thought.

At first, he wanted to curse himself for blurting the words out, resembling nothing like what he had intended, but he was pleasantly surprised when she raised her head and said, “Yes,” with a great big smile. 

Hermione immediately tried to take over from there, arranging when he could pick her up, what they might do, etc., but Draco literally steadied her with his hands on her shoulders, looked down into her large brown eyes and said, “I know the perfect place for us.” His confidence regained control over her exuberance and they agreed that he would Apparate to her flat the following Friday evening at 7 o’clock.

 

Hermione Granger considered herself to be equal parts logical and adventuresome, especially after so many years alongside the celebrated Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter, and her other best friend and former boyfriend, Ron Weasley. Between the two of them, Hermione believed herself lucky to have survived her school days, but she knew the blame fell almost entirely upon the deceased Lord Voldemort. However, the years immediately following the Battle of Hogwarts were comparatively quiet, dull almost, so she worked diligently until she had achieved what she considered the most exciting position the Ministry of Magic had to offer (Minister for Magic notwithstanding): she was an Unspeakable, and rather proud of it.

Of course, neither Harry nor Ron appreciated what she did, but that was because she couldn’t tell them what she did, as stipulated by her position. The secrecy, initially, was quite exhilarating, it but soon drove a wedge between her and Ron; however, that wasn’t the primary reason they did not progress as they had both expected. They were ultimately not compatible, and mutually decided they were better off as friends, just as before. Surprisingly enough, there was very little awkwardness during the transition, which pleased Hermione. 

Yet, the problem of discussing what she did for a living to potential boyfriends remained, and she felt at a loss whenever the topic arose. The men she had dated over the years usually fit the same description: highly evolved, well-mannered gentlemen with whom she felt on an even level both politically and intellectually.

This is why she jumped at Malfoy’s invitation. Fifteen years or more had passed since he treated her so poorly in school, and they had both matured since then, surely. Malfoy was still arrogant and proud, and he would certainly consider his position in IMC too conversationally interesting to even bother asking her about her work. 

Not to mention the fact that Draco Malfoy was quite fit. He had grown into his once pointy features and allowed his hair to grow quite long, which helped to soften his face, she thought. 

Hermione allowed Malfoy to schedule their date, despite her initial attempt to set the parameters. She realized the moment he interrupted her that she _wanted_ him to take the lead; that she was tired of being responsible for everything, and her excitement grew when she imagined what plans Malfoy would devise for them this Friday night.

 

The workweek sped past quickly for both and, at last, seven o’clock Friday had arrived. Hermione checked her hair one last time in the downstairs mirror before answering the door. A dapper Draco stood there, seemingly out of place on her humble Muggle street. With mumbled greetings and shy smiles, they passed through her hallway towards her Floo. She let him take the lead then.

The restaurant Draco had chosen was quite posh and one Hermione had never been before. They passed the scrumptious meal with pleasant conversation, peppered with occasional laughter from both. Any mention of work was kept brief and quiet, both conscious of the Muggles surrounding them. Following dinner, they leisurely strolled through Hyde Park, sharing stories about their personal lives since the war. It was surprising and delightful to both how easy it seemed between them.

As their date was drawing to a close, Draco walked Hermione back to her front door, where they stood for a long moment, neither one of them wanting the night to end. Their voices were hushed, Hermione’s cheeks were pinked, and their fingers continually brushed against each other’s. The moment Draco had been waiting for since making their date had finally arrived. Slowly, he bent down to brush his lips against hers. Hermione’s fingers wrapped around his as he stepped closer to her, slanting his mouth to better kiss her. It was a first date, after all, and Draco wasn’t about to press his luck. He pulled back, his heart pounding in his ears, eagerly anticipating their next kiss. 

His eyes slowly opened and he was surprised to see that Hermione had opened her door and was sheepishly watching him beneath her long lashes. “Thank you for a lovely time, Draco,” she murmured, the door already closing.

“Wait,” he said with urgency. He gave her a roguish grin. “When can I see you again?”

Hermione’s eyes widened for a split second. She looked uncomfortable. Her words were a jumbled mess that Draco couldn’t quite make out, but it sounded an awful lot like, “Monday, at work, perhaps.”

Without further ado, she shut the door in his face.

Stunned, Draco stood there a moment longer, processing exactly what just happened. His hand cupped before his mouth as he checked his breath. No, it wasn’t that. He looked down at his clothes, seeing nothing amiss. _What just happened?_

Impulsively, Draco knocked on her door and waited much longer than he had expected. When she finally answered, her hair was pulled back in a tie and her toothbrush was in her hand. Under normal circumstances, he would have laughed at the sight, but her previous behavior baffled him more now. She stared at him expectantly, both eyebrows raised.

“Did I … do something wrong?” he hesitantly asked.

Hermione swallowed. She looked everywhere but directly at him. “No. No, why would you think tha-”

“Because when we kissed, you ran off like your knickers were on fire.” Her eyes bulged at the analogy. Draco laughed, uncertain where the tension he felt had come from. He leaned against the doorframe, his mouth curving into a lascivious smile. “And if that’s the case, I know a way to extinguish them.” 

“No,” she barked, stunning him further. Draco stood up. Something was quite wrong here, but before he could ask her again, she attempted to shut the door. He only managed to stop her by shoving nearly his entire leg in the way, obliging her to let him back inside.

“What the hell’s got into you, Granger?”

“Listen,” Hermione began with a sigh, balancing her weight on one leg. She looked as though what she was about to say was quite difficult for her. He pressed his lips together and braced himself. “I really did have a nice time tonight, Draco. But I don’t think this,” she waved the toothbrush between them, “is going to work.”

Draco scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, expecting her to elaborate. When she didn’t after a few seconds, his arms fell back to his sides and he outright demanded to know why. 

“It’s just that I don’t think we’re compatible.”

“After one date?”

“Well,” she mumbled, giving him a sickly apologetic look. 

He quickly dismissed her words. “Everything seemed all right through dinner, and then in the park,” he accused, and she hesitantly agreed with him, but said nothing further.

She heaved a great sigh and drudged over to her sofa, plopping herself down unceremoniously. Draco followed her, choosing to sit next to her. Hermione squirmed a bit and blushed further when she felt his eyes upon her. Honestly, she didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. These things just happen, and they would both benefit from this unfortunate experience, if he would just realize it. Draco Malfoy always was quite stubborn and proud, though, so she knew she would have to spell it out without further damaging his ego. She sighed again and decided simply to be frank.

When she turned her head slightly to begin, she found Draco was much too close. “Oh!” Hermione fumbled across the couch to avoid his advancing lips. 

Instantly, she was ashamed of her behavior, but it wasn’t entirely her fault. He caught her off guard, and when she was trying to speak, too. Perhaps her response was a little dramatic, judging by his pained expression and heated cheeks. _Oh, please, oh please, get me through this!_

“I don’t understand you, Granger. What’s happened during the last fifteen minutes that has you literally dodging me as though I were covered in Stinksap?” Draco ran his hand across his slicked back blond hair. He began ticking off his good qualities aloud. She listened patiently, if distractedly. Hermione nodded her head with just about every one, except when he boasted about his winning personality and she accidentally made a face. “All right, perhaps I’m not that charming. But still…”

She couldn’t let him go on. Hermione reached for his hand and held it between both of hers. “Draco, you’ve become a wonderful man, and any witch would be honored to have your attentions. But in order for two individuals to succeed romantically, it boils down to chemistry, and based on that kiss ...”

“You’re telling me I’m a bad kisser?” The shock on his face nearly made her bark with laughter. That would _really_ be inappropriate right now! 

“Not necessarily. It’s just that you and I… well, the kiss did nothing for me,” she blurted out, feeling immense relief as she did. There, she was honest and sort of kind. Surely that would be the end of it and they could both move on.

“You’re joking.”

Or not. Time to try another tack. She held up her toothbrush. “Did you know that 59% of men and 66% of women have ended a budding relationship because of a bad first kiss?”

Flabbergasted, Draco stared in horror at the witch next to him. He couldn’t recall another time in his adult life when he had been more insulted. Draco Malfoy, terrible kisser? It was unheard of! And what evidence did she have, anyway? One kiss – one small, chaste peck on the lips following a first date. She wasn’t even giving him a proper chance! 

“I am _not_ a bad kisser!”

Hermione gave him a condescending look that he was sure she meant to be sincere yet dismissive. 

“You want proof? I can list several witches who’d prove you wrong, Granger!”

“Draco, that’s not wh-”

“And none of them have _ever_ insulted me the way you have!” he spoke over her, his temper rising. “Besides, who are you to judge me? How many blokes have you snogged in your bookish life? Bet it’s not half as many as -”

“Don’t get snotty with me, Malfoy! All I said was that we’re not compatible -”

“Based on _one kiss_? One stupid, little first kiss? Only an imbecile would completely disregard a potential relationship on something so insignificant!”

“Thanks ever so!”

“Thought you were smarter than that!”

“So let me make sure I understand something. You’re telling me that you’ve _never_ judged a book by its cover? That you’ve _never_ rejected someone based upon her looks alone, not even bothering to talk to her first?”

“That’s completely diff-”

“You’re right, it is different! It’s worse! Kissing someone is personal, it’s chemical, and when the chemistry’s not there, both parties are simply wasting their time trying to _make_ it happen between them! Not only are you trying to prolong something that wouldn’t have amounted to anything, you’re also insulting me. In my own flat! How could you possibly think I’d be interested in seeing you again?”

“How can you sit there and argue that first impressions are crucial and judge me for not wanting to snog ugly witches? You’re just as bad as I am! Your logic is flawed, Granger,” he accused. 

Hermione kept quiet, thinking through everything, every mean thing they had said to each other, all because she wouldn’t kiss him a second time. And why wouldn’t she? Because she’d read an article about kissing as a mate assessment device. She considered the men she had had relationships with, both good and bad, and recalled the kissing. It wasn’t always wonderful – sometimes it was too wet or too sloppy, while other times she felt like she’d been kissing Harry. A small shudder ran through her.

Perhaps she’d put too much stock in the article. They were both in agreement that tonight had been very nice, up until she’d slammed the door in his face. Hermione’s face grew hot. She really had behaved poorly towards Draco. He was within his rights to ask her why she had done what she’d done. He remained on her couch, his hands pressed against his knees, as though any second he would push himself up and out the door, never to speak to her again. 

What harm would there be in just one more kiss?

Faster than he could possibly say goodnight, Hermione tossed aside her toothbrush and pitched forward to kiss him. For a moment, Hermione thought she’d made a mistake, that giving into such a notion was not only silly but also completely irrational, especially since kissing Draco was tantamount to admitting he was right and she was wrong. But then, after barely second or two, Draco began kissing her back. 

She sighed against his mouth, opening herself further to him, and Draco wasn’t wasting any more time with argument. Their hands flailed about, not knowing where to touch each other, what would be allowed, until finally settling, his on her back, pressing her closer, hers tangled up in his slicked back hair.

Hermione had one final thought before she gave in to the feeling surging from that kiss, that perhaps first impressions really were overestimated.


End file.
